The mind is tricky. At many times it can feel like our minds are working against us rather than helping us.
Our own mind can whisper negative thoughts and our internal voice can become destructive, intrusive, self-sabotaging, perfectionistic, hurtful, cruel, and most of all: deceiving.
The Lying Mind
The minds’ ability to progress negative thinking into full blown deception is astounding.
At first, it may start small, just a little thought will creep in insisting something completely untrue about yourself. A quiet whisper might say:
- “you’re not good enough.”
- “you’re too much.”
- “you aren’t perfect enough. try harder.”
- “you’re ugly.”
- “no one actually likes you.”
- “you’ll never be anything great.”
- “nothing’s working, so stop trying.”
- “you’re useless.”
- “everyone is disappointed in you.”
- “the world would be better without you around.”
- “you are a failure.”
Why the Mind Lies
The mind is beautiful, but it is definitely not perfect. Some of you may feel like your mind is broken or that you’re somehow unfixable, but the reality is that the mind is shaped and taught how to think.
The mind is very susceptible to repetition, especially repetition that hurts. When a negative thought is rehearsed enough times, the brain starts to treat it like truth. Not because it is true, but because the mind learns patterns. It memorizes whatever it hears the most.
So if fear speaks often, the mind begins to echo it. If shame gets repeated, the mind starts to believe it. If a lie is told long enough, the mind stops questioning it. At that point, the mind isn’t telling you what’s true, it speaks like the enemy.
How To Refute Lying Thoughts
Once you understand how easily the mind believes a lie, the next step is learning how to protect yourself from your own thoughts when they turn against you.
1. Notice it. Catch the thought as it shows up. Name it for what it is: fear, memory, shame, exhaustion (not truth).
2. Question it. Ask, “Is this actually true?” Most of the time, it isn’t. The mind speaks in extremes. Truth rarely does.
3. Look for real evidence. Not emotional evidence! Actual evidence. Does this thought match who you are, how you live, what the people who love you say about you? Does it line up with your character or your growth? Usually, no.
4. Replace it with something steadier. Not forced positivity. Not a fake affirmation. Just a grounded truth that holds more weight than the lie.
Something like: “I’m learning.” “I’m growing.” “This thought is loud, but it isn’t true.”
5. Remind yourself that the mind is not the authority. It’s a voice… not the voice. It’s a narrator… not the truth‑giver. You get to choose what you believe.
What’s Actually True?
The truth is this: you are not the harsh things your mind has said about you. You are not the worst thought you’ve ever had or the fear that hits you out of nowhere. You are much more than the lying mind.Some of what you’re fighting is emotional. Some of it is chemical.
Your brain is wired for survival, not peace, which means it scans for danger. It remembers pain more vividly than joy and reacts quickly to anything that feels like a threat. That’s biology. Emotionally, your mind carries every story you’ve lived through and the moments you felt unseen or not enough.
So reclaiming your mind isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively. It’s about slowing down enough to ask, “Is this actually true?” It’s about noticing the lie, naming it, and refusing to let it define you.
My Own Mind
I’m not writing any of this from a place of perfect clarity. My mind is a battlefield of perfectionism, anxiety, and extreme criticism. Some days I wake up already fighting the lies before I even get out of bed. Some days the truth feels easy to believe. Other days I have to choose it. Choosing to question my thoughts instead of collapsing under them is a brave choice and it’s a daily choice.
And if all you did today was refuse to believe the lie your mind tried to hand you, that’s you reclaiming your own mind.
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