I am not Indian, but my daughter is.
That means I carry the responsibility of honoring a culture that did not begin with me.
Indian culture is rich. It is layered. It is beautiful. It is powerful. And I want her to grow up deeply proud of that.
But every culture has things that deserve to be carried forward and things that deserve healing.
Here is what I will teach her and here is what I will not pass down.
What I Will Teach My Indian Daughter:
1. I will teach her pride in her heritage.
She will know where she comes from. She will know the stories, the food, the colors, the music. She will celebrate festivals like Diwali, Holi, etc. with joy and understanding.
2. I will teach her the beauty of tradition.
Weddings. Family gatherings. Dressing up. Rituals that have been practiced for generations.
3. I will teach her respect for elders. Not out of fear, but out of gratitude.
4. I will teach her the strength of Indian women. Resilience. Devotion. The quiet power that holds families together.
5. I will teach her the importance of family and community. Showing up. Feeding people. Loving generously.
6. I will teach her spiritual grounding. To feel connected to something deeper than herself.
Because I love the culture she comes from, I will also protect her from the parts that can wound…
What I Will Not Teach My Indian Daughter:
1. I will not teach her that lighter skin is superior. Her melanin is not something to rank or compare.
2. I will not teach her that her curls need to be straightened to be acceptable. Her natural texture is not something to tame.
3. I will not teach her that being a good girl means being silent. She can be respectful and still have a voice.
4. I will not teach her that her worth is tied to marriage. If she chooses it, it will be from desire, not duty.
5. I will not teach her that elders are always right. Respect goes both ways. Boundaries are not disrespect.
6. I will not teach her that family reputation comes before her wellbeing. Her mental health matters more than what people say.
7. I will not teach her that sacrifice means disappearing. Love should not require self erasure.
I know the generations before her did the best they could with what they knew. Many of these beliefs were born from protection, survival, and a different time… but I am raising her in this time.
My job is to keep what strengthens her and release what shrinks her.
She will grow up proud of being Indian. And she will grow up free.
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