mamashonestjournal

Have you ever struggled with your relationship with food? Overthinking every bite you take?

Have you ever felt pressure to look a certain way and wondered if you were the only one? I have, and it’s time to get honest about body image.

As a teenager, I believed being bone skinny was the standard, the only way to be perfect. When I felt sad or unlovable, I sometimes punished my body by eating less, thinking shrinking myself might make me more worthy. Other times, I’d eat more than I needed to when I was feeling angry, stressed, sad, anxious, and overwhelmed.

Even now, the ideal keeps shifting. Curves, strength, and a toned body are celebrated, yet somehow it can still feel like it’s never enough. Have you ever felt like the standard keeps changing but your body can’t keep up?

What I’ve learned over the years is that how your body looks doesn’t determine whether you struggle with body image or eating disorders. Someone can be thin, fit, curvy, or strong and still feel uncomfortable in their own skin. Body image struggles can affect anyone, no matter what size or shape your body is.

Pregnancy changed my body in big ways. My feet and ankles swelled, the line down my belly darkened, my face got puffy, my fingers swelled, and none of my clothes fit. I didn’t feel like myself. And yet, during that time I trusted my body and ate my cravings. Eating felt nourishing, not something to control, because I was growing life.

But after my daughter was born, my relationship with food worsened again. I felt the quiet pressure to get my body back, and fast. Healing took patience and recovery felt slower than I expected. Breastfeeding affected my weight in ways I hadn’t anticipated. For some women, nursing causes weight gain, but for me it caused the opposite. My weight kept decreasing rapidly and my body no longer felt strong, energized, or healthy.

Gradually, eating stopped feeling joyful and became calculated. Instead of asking how to nourish my body, I focused on what to avoid. This is how an eating disorder begins. Without realizing it, food had become something to manage rather than something meant to sustain me. Eating was not as joyful of an experience.

Eventually, I realized I didn’t want to spend my life chasing a standard that would always change. I also realized that food is not my enemy. Taking up space, literally and figuratively, is a good thing. Once I started eating whole foods and being intentional in a healthy way, I worried less. Being invisible or small shouldn’t always be the goal. Learning to claim space and nourish myself has been one of the most freeing lessons I’ve ever learned.

Over time, I stopped seeing food as something to fear and started seeing it as something that fuels me. I stopped obsessing over numbers and began paying attention to how I feel. Now I eat intuitively, I enjoy food again, and I nourish my body without guilt. The mirror stopped being the place I avoided.

The reality is this: at the end of the day, when you look in the mirror, you deserve to like, love, and deeply respect the person staring back at you and all your body has done for you.

If this part of my story resonates with you, please know you are not alone, and support is available.

Eating Disorder & Body Image Support Resources:

• National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 800-931-2237

• National Alliance for Eating Disorders Referral Line: 866-662-1235

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

• SAMHSA National Helpline: 800-662-4357

You deserve nourishment, healing, and peace with your body. Your body deserves kindness.